Dear God, America. We used to go to the moon.

You know how sometimes you’re hungry, you’re digging through the fridge, and you suddenly remember that leftover Chinese^[1]? You can’t exactly pinpoint how long it’s been in there, but you know it’s too long. But hey, you’re hungry, so you give it an extra 30 seconds in the microwave, and tell yourself that will kill all the bacteria. Of course, you’re wrong, and as you take that first bite, you can tell that you made a mistake. A terrible mistake. But now you’re committed, and come hell or diarrhea, you’re going to finish those leftovers.

This is pretty much what happened in the writers room at they created the script for “Unicorn”. The only difference was that instead of Chinese food, it was some stupid drama they wrote in season 1, and instead of diarrhea—actually, no. That part was exactly the same.

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With a week to go until Nationals, this episode begins with the Glee Club hiring Jesse St. James as a show choir consultant. As close as we can tell, his main role with the club is to say and do all of the things that Sue normally would if she were not busy being a sympathetic character. After the death of her sister, Sue becomes reformed at the end of this episode and vows to never attack the Glee Club again. This completes the trifecta. Now, all three writers have written an episode where Sue becomes good and supportive of the Glee Club after a crisis. Brad Falchuk did it in the first season’s finale. Ian Brennan did it in this year’s Christmas episode, and now Ryan Murphy has done it. This realization gives credence to the theory that the writers may just be playing games with each other and  just screwing with their millions of fans. This is the only theory on this show that would allow us to have any respect for it.

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Ever since Moses came down from the mountain in the last episode, excuse us, ever since Kurt returned from Dalton he has been a completely perfect, nearly supernatural character. Well, in this episode that was all thrown on its head and Glee fans faced the stunning possibility that Kurt may have a flaw. Of course, it turns out to be a misunderstanding and Kurt was actually being perfect the whole time. Basically, its like when the Bible seemed to indicate that Jesus was fudging some numbers on his income taxes when he was actually just curing a tax collector of his wickedness.

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